ATTITUDE AND THE QUEEN

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I gave a workshop a number of years ago with Hard Shell Word Factory author Liz Hunter for the Wisconsin Romance Writers’ of America.  We’d wanted to do something fun and inspirational about how attitudes (yours and others’) change after you get your first contract.  The committee wanted something on contract negotiating.  We figured we could be fun, inspirational, and talk about contract negotiating.

But, at the time, Liz and I were both electronically published with author friendly contracts that neither of us negotiated.  What did we know about contract negotiating?  Also, being newly published and being published only electronically, we worried about what kind of draw we’d have.  We were scheduled against two print-published authors, one of whom was far better known than the two of us.  Who was going to want to hear what little ol’ us had to say?

The evening before the workshop, I optimistically told Liz that I knew we’d have at least four attendees to our workshop…my four critique partners.  We gave each other weak smiles, reassured each other we’d prepared best we could, and headed for the bar.  How were we going to pull off a workshop on attitude when we lacked confident attitude ourselves?

Enter the Queen.

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Somewhere that year of my first contract, I’d gained an alter ego.  I’m not exactly sure when Her Royal Highness first graced us with her presence.  She probably gave us a queenly wave during an all-night brain storming session.  Those of us estrogen driven writers have been there, high on chocolate and punchy for lack of sleep.  Anything is funny at that point.

But this affectation wouldn’t die.  Encouraged by her groveling subjects, The Queen made her first public appearance at the WisRWA conference in Oconomowoc, Wisconsin in 2000 complete with rhinestone crown and feather boa.

The minute people walked into our workshop, they began to smile.  Now I’d rather face a smiling crowd any day than a somber-faced bunch expecting sage advice from me.  In case you’re wondering, no, I was not the class clown.  In fact, I was the kid trying to fade into the background in my school days.  But dress me up in something ridiculous or give me a prop and I acquire attitude.  Maybe Liz and I could pull off this workshop after all.

Fame, Fortune and Reality.  That’s what we’d promised to talk to the conference attendees about and here I was flicking my boa and straightening my crown.  Reality?  Liz had the audacity to inform our audience that I was not reality.  Excuse me, but I assure you The Queen is quite real.

Liz showed graphics of how being published might make one expect to go from a hovel to a mansion…or in The Queen’s case a castle, from rusted out car to limo, even from fat to thin.  There was The New York Times Best Seller List for inspiration and, to demonstrate the possibility of unexpected complications, the Salman Rushdie headline proclaiming him a man with a price on his head for merely writing a book.

But nothing was more graphic than The Queen.  Do I hear murmurings about ego among the peasants?  Heads have rolled for less, you know.

Back to the workshop.

We spoke about using a humorous attitude to keep those cherished writing friendships that can be tested when one member of the group publishes and the rest are left yet aspiring.  Example:  It was the not-yet-published friends that created The Queen.

We advised that egos be kept in check lest we offend friends, family, and most importantly prospective buyers and fans.  Example:  The Queen.  Just try throwing a royal tantrum when you’re laughing at yourself.  It can’t be done.

We offered suggestions on how to keep busy during that long wait between contract signing and publication, on how to maintain a productive attitude.  The Queen even confessed she was BAD ATTITUDE.

With our audience now high on the endorphins of laughter and the chocolate I’d handed out (A tip to anyone who ever has to speak to a group of women: BRING CHOCOLATE.), I got down to business.  They wanted to know how attitude got me my first contract.

I brought up those Oprah type shows about visualizing what you want and pointed out how the line in Field of Dreams, “Build it and they will come,” exemplifies this.  I informed them that I wrote and I had no doubts it would sell.  For eight years, I had no doubts.  Then I joined a professional writers’ group, started learning everything I didn’t know, started to doubt if I’d ever get published, and ended up published.  It seems I’m not exactly the post child for positive visualization.

But I do know that my attitude had changed just before I sold my first book, Wolfsong.  I’d done the workshops, read the self-help books, taken classes, and had an agent who believed in me.  There had even been an editor or two who’d praised my work, hung onto it “in case they had a slot to fill,” and on occasion asked for revisions, yet I still didn’t have a contract.  It seemed I had done the work and had the talent.  It was just a matter of waiting for the break, the luck factor.

By the time the millennium rolled around, I was tired of being “almost there,” tired of waiting for “The Call.”  If that sounds angry, my changed attitude did grow out of anger.  But I’m one of those people who, when life hands her lemons, will make lemonade. The point for me was that when my attitude changed, so did my “luck.”

Now sometimes you need to find a reason to give yourself attitude.  January 2000 I found my reason.  I won an Oreo yoyo.  Now that doesn’t seem like much.  But, when I opened that specially marked package of Oreos and found one of my cookies said I’d won a yoyo, I knew my luck had changed.

Never mind that everybody who bought a specially marked package of Oreos probably won at least a yoyo.  I had won a yoyo.

Granted, I was supposed to send this specially marked cookie to Nabisco to get my yoyo.  But I didn’t need a yoyo.  I needed the luck.

So I kept the cookie.  I showed my audience the cookie as I told them I had let the cookie change my attitude.  I was a winner.  I was going get my foot in the door with the electronic publishers.  I was going to sell my book.  I picked 3 electronic publishers, sent them Wolfsong, and wound up with three contract offers.

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Sometimes you have to find a reason to give yourself attitude, because, sometimes it takes attitude to turn your dream into reality.

Liz’s and my dream for the weekend was to have a successful workshop.  To our relief, we had a fair turnout.  To our amazement, keynote speaker Debbie Macomber chose to attend our workshop.  To our great pleasure, the multi electronically and print published Jane Toombs called our workshop excellent.  No one could have anticipated we were going to entertain them with garish props and silly slides; and I didn’t notice anyone running up and down the halls shouting, “Come here.  You gotta see this.”   No one could have known our survey of published writers had netted some unique contract negotiating tips.  So, how did we manage to draw more than our friends to our workshop?

Maybe it was the catchy workshop title: Fame, Fortune and Reality.  Maybe it was a good workshop description: An irreverent look at the changes an author can expect once a contract is in hand.

Or maybe it was attitude. We planned it and they came.

My “Wolfsong” earned a 4 star review from Romantic Times and has recently been rereleased through Kindle, B&N and other electronic sources as have most of my backlist, including my first hard cover release “The Mating Game.” Soon to be released, my first series “The St. John Sibling Series” starting with “Taming Tess” and “No Place Like Home.”

 

10 TIPS FOR INCREASING YOUR PUPPY’S SQ (SMART QUOTIENT)

Think you have a budding Lassie on your hands? Maybe you picked the little fluff ball in the corner because you felt sorry for her, but now that you have her home you still can’t get her out of the corner. Maybe you mistook eye contact with that feisty puppy as “bonding” only to discover he’s more inclined to rule the household than cuddle with you. Whether you want to head off behavioral problems or just insure your puppy grows up safe, secure, and happy, here are ten tips that will make your Fido or Fifi look and act like geniuses.

1. Beyond the rubber ball: Rubber balls exercise muscles and chew toys occupy the puppy who’s inclined to teethe on your favorite Reebocks. But, to stimulate the canine brain, try the Wiggly Giggly Ball, the Yuppy Puppy Treat Dispenser, or the Roll-A-Treat Cube; all available from national pet stores and catalogues. Not only is your dog occupied by “operating” the toy to get a treat, the toy’s problem solving aspect stimulates doggy brains.

2. The Find Me Game: During walks in the fields surrounding our house, my Keeshond Casey would invariably wander out in front of me. I’d then hide in the tall grass. He’d notice I was missing, track me, and find me.

You can do this in the house. Duck around a corner and call your dog or hide in a closet (leave the door open a bit so Fifi doesn’t scratch her way to you and create a behavioral problem). They get exercise searching for you, muscular and cerebral.

3. Obedience Train: How does obedience make a dog smarter? First, anything you teach a dog stimulates its brain. Second, it teaches your dog that you are their pack leader. Third, even if the dog isn’t smart he’ll look smarter if he’s obedient.

My collie Fawn was a prime example that Lassie was a myth. She’d walk through hot coals for me. Loyal, but not a smart thing to do. But, when commanded to sit and stay, she sat and stayed…and stayed…and stayed. This came in handy whenever my husband and I folded up the winter cover off the swimming pool and needed a third “hand” to anchor a corner. She looked like a genius just because she obeyed a simple command.

4. Play dates: AFTER little Fido/Fifi has had his/her vaccinations, arrange play dates with other puppies who have had their shots and are healthy, or adult dogs who are non aggressive with puppies. The more your puppy interacts with other dogs in a structured setting (you being the structure that dictates play level), the more appropriately Fido/Fifi will act with other dogs.

Why is this smart? Because puppies need to learn how to respond appropriately to other dogs’ body language in order to prevent being attacked. Don’t assume your puppy learned all his social skills while in the litter. Some dogs mature more slowly than others, some are bull headed, and some are taken away from the litter too early.

5. No more stay at home dogs: Take your dog in the car with you. Go to parks. Do you like the water? Introduce Fifi to your favorite swimming hole early.

Think introducing Fido to wheelchairs, walkers, and canes is only for pet therapy dogs? With the baby boomer generation maturing and weekend athletes over-doing, such apparatus are a common part of our environment. The more socialized to different situations your dog is, the less likely he or she is to be shy; and the socially adept always look smarter.

6. The dreaded slippery floor: Does Fifi lose bladder control at the mere sight of linoleum?

When I picked up my second Keeshond from her breeder’s, the puppies were climbing on a fiberglass tub turned upside down, slipping and sliding gleefully. You don’t need expensive equipment to familiarize your pup with various surfaces. Just use things from around the house like the breeder did to provide different types of footing for the pups to experience.

This made for an easy transition as I brought my 9 week old Copy, as in copyright, home in the middle of a remodeling project. Tarpon covered piles of lumber became her jungle gym. Ropes her tug toys. Cement blocks her personal obstacle course. By the time I introduced her to agility equipment, this dog had already developed a good sense of balance and was surefooted on a variety of surfaces.

Even if you aren’t interested in agility competition, a beginner’s class is a fun way to introduce your dog to a variety surfaces. Or you can play fetch on any hard-surface floor. Don’t rush it and make it fun. A dog who has learned that skidding off a slippery box didn’t hurt, isn’t likely to freak on linoleum, tile, or wood floors.

7. Handle Your Puppy: Touch their toes, feel their ears, lift their lips, rub their gums, brush their teeth. Not only will this make your dog easier to handle for grooming, but your veterinarian will think Fifi is brilliant because she stands still for an examination.

8. Quality food: Junk food in, groggy behavior out. Same as for humans. Yes, quality food is more costly per pound. But, you feed less because it takes less to nourish the dog. My 87 pound collie ate a mere 2 ½ cups of a high quality dry food a day and was not thin. You’ll also be grateful when you pick up after your dog. All that filler in cheap food eventually comes out as doggy waste.

9. Imprinting: Think of imprinting as long-term memory that never gets erased. Remember the movie about the little girl who taught orphaned geese to migrate by getting them to follow her in her ultralight? She had to show the geese the route because they thought she was their mother. Her presence as their caregiver had imprinted that on them.

In the case of dogs, you have about 16 weeks to imprint them. Whatever you do with your puppy in its first 4 months of life will be hard wired in their brains forever. This means fear behavior as well as good behavior. So be careful how you introduce those new experiences to your puppy in his/her early weeks.

But do take advantage of the opportunity. This is a great time to start with basic obedience such as sit or simple tricks like shaking a paw.

10. Tricks for treats: It never fails. I finish an obedience demonstration with my multi-titled dog and someone invariably asks if my dog knows any tricks. My Casey could jump a hurdle, fetch a dumbell, and return to me, yet he couldn’t shake paws…which generally netted a disappointed, “Oh.” Tricks. Everybody loves them. So, your final tip will help you decide which tricks Fido or Fifi have the aptitude for and how to break any trick down to trainable segments.

First, take advantage of your dog’s natural quirks and mannerisms to train a trick. Does your dog lift one paw when sitting? You’ve got the start of a handshake or a wave. Does your dog like to wriggle around on its back? You’re half way to a roll over. Combine a word with the action along with praise, praise, praise, and a treat or toy. Your dog will soon be rolling over on command.

Second, break the trick down into rewardable segments. I taught Copy to operate her bubble-gum machine-like treat dispenser by rewarding each small step she took toward completing the task. This is called shaping. I shaped her behavior by utilizing her natural curiosity and her tendency to use her paw.

The first time she touched the dispenser with any part of her body, I hit the lever and she got a treat. Next, I waited until she touched the dispenser closer to the lever before treating her. Next, she got a treat only when she touched the lever. When she touched the lever with her paw the first time, I made a huge deal out of it. She not only got extra treats from the dispenser, I whooped and hooted praise. After that, she got the treat only if she touched the dispenser with her paw. In about half an hour, she went from sticking her nose against the glass dome containing doggy treats to pressing a lever with her paw and rewarding herself.

Now this was a pretty complicated behavior. If you are thinking my dog is smarter than most, this proud doggy mom would love to agree. But, the fact is, Copy will leap into the air after a Frisbee without any thought on how she’s going to land. A couple crashes onto her hip and air-born Frisbees were banned from our backyard. What Copy had in her favor, however, was the benefit of the previous nine steps in this article.

She’d been stimulated with toys and games, handled properly, fed quality food, socialized to a variety of environments and situations, and taught that I am her trustworthy pack leader. That’s how you increase a dog’s smart quotient.